Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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