Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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