My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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