We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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