please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
