im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
