try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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