I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
