On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
