I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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