It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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