can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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