If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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