Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Randomize
