dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
