Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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