You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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