The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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