I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
