people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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