Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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