i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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