Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
