Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
