that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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