dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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