Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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