so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
