He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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