it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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