Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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