its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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