I'd wear matching sweaters with you
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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