My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
