Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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