are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
