I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
