and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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