end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
There's even glitter on my cock...
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