You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
