Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
