In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i think i scared a bird with my dick
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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