is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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