My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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