i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
