my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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