Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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