Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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