Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
