remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
