Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
