you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
