Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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