I'm drive I can fine osifer
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
