I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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