After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
