I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
vagina is talking i cant
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
