She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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