what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
