This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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