He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
