bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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